I thought it would probably be a good idea to document the existence of autoandrophilia somewhere, so let’s do it here.
Autoandrophilia has been observed for a long term. While Blanchard doesn’t explicitly label it AAP, he has shared this story:
We had intercourse when I was 18 and, while imagining I was another boy and he was penetrating me anally, I enjoyed it immensely. I always fantasized I was another boy when we were together sexually and was terrified he might find out my “perverse” thoughts. […]. While I loved the sensations of receiving cunnilingus, imagining him performing this turned me off so that I couldn’t enjoy it. He usually brought me to orgasm manually and I pretended he was playing with my penis.
There’s more anecdotes in other old case studies:
- I find homosexual love scenes in films very arousing, whilst heterosexual ones not at all […] I’m not male, but I’ve tried to imagine myself inside a gay man’s skin. I enjoy anal intercourse, and have fantasies to be active (that way) […] I need a submissive man with whom I play a “male” role.
- With a male, I fantasized I was male, and although I had a real body (female), I also had a shadow body (male)
- I paired off with one particular friend at my [girls’] school. We acted out something like the Greek ideal. We took the part of boys and acted out fantasies from films and radio […]
- She reported willingness to engage in a variety of sexual behaviors but preferred to take the active role in intercourse from behind. She would rub her genital area against her partner’s buttocks while masturbating him manually. Throughout, she imagined she had a penis and was penetrating his anus.
- During vaginal sex, she imagined herself as a male with another male. […] In a rather different vein, Stephanie described a recurring sexual fantasy in which she was male and living on a planet where men ruled over women who were treated as domesticated animals and used for sexual purposes.
Diagram from the Transmasculine Sexuality Survey. Results were similar if asking directly about what they found arousing rather than about which themes were present.
If trans men are autoandrophilic, then this should imply that there’s some collection of nontransitioning AFABs who are also autoandrophilic, and have noticeable gender issues based on that. I’ve talked about this here, here and here, but let’s have a recap:
In surveys, I have no trouble finding some autoandrophilic reports. Probably my surveys are overestimating the prevalence of both AGP and AAP, but I don’t find much lower rates of AGP than AAP. To identify AAP, I use pretty simple questions like “How sexually arousing do you find it to imagine being the opposite sex?”; things seem reasonably stable under different phrasings. Autoandrophilia is strongly associated with desire to be male:
Association between autoandrophilia and gender feelings. This diagram was kinda tricky to make and needs to be taken with a grain of salt, because AFABs tend to identify as transgender/nonbinary at a lower threshold of gender issues than AMABs. This meant that to properly create this diagram, I had to include both trans and cis people, which can imply various issues. The effect is still there when restricting to cis women, and it’s about as strong, it’s just less striking because the data only exists in the lower-right corner.
I’ve also got some closer details, namely, what do autoandrophilic fantasies look like? Here, I got the information from autoandrophilic cis women, not trans men, so it may not quite match the higher intensities they experience. Still, it should be informative:
- The last is like most I have had. I see myself as a man either being dominated by a man or by a woman. Sometimes they involve more vanilla sex, usually with another man, but sometimes a woman or both.
- In such fantasies I tend to instead project myself onto a non-me gay man having sex with another man (in several different ways)
- Same as any fantasy but I have a dick and a man is happily choking on it
- I would be an anonymous man at a public sex party, fucking people of all genders with my penis. I’d never ejaculate or go soft. It would be 7 inches long and I’d be strong enough to hold my ‘bottom person’ in any position.
- I picture my clit growing and becoming less sensitive so I can rub my (now) penis on stuff/put it in stuff. Typically my fantasies involve Kirk and Spock in some fashion. I like to put myself in Spock’s head.
- Imagining myself as the male I am commiting sex acts onto. Often fantasizing myself with a penis but no other male traits, and being the penetrator. (Having a vagina makes me feel penetratable and therefore vulnerable, so i have never *willingly* been penetrated. I try to penetrate men if they allow.)
- I like to picture myself in the role of a feminine male top in gay porn
- I am myself but I have a penis and I have penetrative sex with my husband or a woman.
- I mostly have these fantasies when dreaming, so I don’t know if it counts. When I dream, it feels as if I let all of my inhibitions fly away and I go all out… As in, orgies with lots of people of all genders/just girls, sex in public (on the street). Only in those two scenarios have I found myself dreaming up an autoandrophilic fantasy (and in these I have my current body exactly as I do in real life except that I have a penis).
Sounds quite AAP to me, at least. This survey also found some other interesting points, for example that most of the participants started being autoandrophilic at the beginning of their sexuality.